If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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