i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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