let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
