The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
