You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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