I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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