really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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