either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
