on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
