i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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