My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
