gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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