Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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