It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
