WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize