So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
