Betty ford says i'm here all night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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