carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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