i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
