My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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