every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
