that's an acceptable place to lick
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
