dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
