Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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