You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
