Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
