I wannas sexs uuuuu
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
