That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
