Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
