There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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