There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
