defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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