And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize