I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize