i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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