For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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