if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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