So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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