Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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