It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So many bounce houses so little time
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
