Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
