Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
