I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
