I love black thongs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize