i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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