I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize