Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
