Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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