You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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