So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
