this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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