The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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