I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
