he wants to bone in the snuggie
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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