I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize