we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
