She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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