I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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