I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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