Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ladies don't puke and tell
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
