I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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