was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do vagina's smell?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
