are you still at the devil's house?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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