So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The Olympian is in my bed
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
