Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
