508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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