hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize