She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
